


hummingbird watching

by tnevmucric



Category: Death Stranding (Video Games)
Genre: Bittersweet, Dialogue Heavy, Gen, Open to Interpretation, POV Second Person, can i get uhhhhh father figure cliff on the beach with young sam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-19
Updated: 2019-11-19
Packaged: 2021-02-13 02:36:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21486934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tnevmucric/pseuds/tnevmucric
Summary: “what do you think of space?”, he asks you with a small grin, particularly out of the blue. “with all of the space that space has...would you ever go there, i wonder?”
Relationships: Sam Porter Bridges & Clifford Unger
Comments: 16
Kudos: 107





	hummingbird watching

“You try your whole life to be good.”

The waves don’t make a sound on the beach, an uncomfortable stillness permeating the dark sand. Breathing is no longer weightless and air struggles from lung to lung; if you curl your toes, you can feel larger shards of crushed shell and the memory of a childhood fear—what lurks beneath, what camouflages, and so on.

You swallow thickly. Your shoulders drag you down. His footsteps create an unexpected crunch against the sand and his hand rests in your hair as he comes to a stop beside you. The sky is too bright for you to look up, your eyes still sore from salt water, and he must know this because he kneels down to your crouched height: something about him is favourable. His fingertips gently pull through your hair and you hold your breath against the quiet—you don’t mind his touch.

“The moths”, the man says, looking out to the ocean with a weary gesture, “they don’t eat like other insects do. They might leave holes in your clothes, hide in cupboard doors, but many just exist. Many like nectar, is all... but they just exist. They leave holes in the things we love most to show us the unforeseen”, he pokes your stomach once with a kind smile. “We’re slow to start but we get there.”

“They always hang around my lamp when I’m trying to sleep”, you tell him, blinking upwards as you remember your room. You liked the dark blues, and Amelie’s dream catcher stayed suspended from the handle of your closet. You keep the lamp on at night. “I like to watch them, but I’m scared they might get burned so I turn it off.”

The man hums low and affirming, hand stroking through your hair again and you realise his attention is on you completely, not like your mother’s wandering gaze or Amelie’s intent one.

“Moths crave illumination”, he tells you. “It can be an enlightening thing, opening and embracing pathways for us to see, but we must be careful of compulsion—the moth can’t let itself become consumed by the path, nor can we. These moths are ghosts”, his smile comes back, tender and pulled tight like the either end of a stitched wound. “They only mean to look out for you, to help you feel safe, Sam. They try their whole lives to be good.”

There is an eeriness about sitting with this man, on this beach, that feels like slipping on a familiar pair of shoes. You look up at him with a squint and something he sees must amuse him, because he laughs at you.

“What do you think of space?”, he asks you with a small grin, particularly out of the blue. “With all of the space that space has...would you ever go there, I wonder?”

“I have a lot of books about space”, you rush to tell him. You like his attention, you want to feel like he’s proud of you. “My favourite planet is Saturn. They say we can’t go to space anymore, but we used to. I want to go visit Saturn—I bet it’s so cool up there. What’s yours?”

“My favourite planet?”, the man asks. You nod insistently. “Jupiter, definitely. I’ve even been there.”

“No way!”

“I have”, the man confides with a smile.

“What was it like in space? Was it cool? I read that it smells like toast—do you _float?_”

“Would you like to know what it was like?”

“Yes, please!”

Suddenly you’re lifted up by your sides: it is now that you feel weightless. You feel the compression ease off of your chest and shoulders and giggles bubble in your throat as the man zooms you through the air, his arms firm around your legs while he spins the two of you in place. You haven’t felt this bright before. If you close your eyes, you can be in the sky, with the moths and the planets and the sun and past this vast grey.

_ “Oh no! We’re crash landing!” _

Another burst of joy squeaks out of you as the man pretends to tumble the two of you back down to Earth. Your cheeks ache from laughing too hard and you feel your loose tooth become a little looser. Your knees and hands create deep indents in the sand and the man beams at you, sitting upright with his arm propped over his knee, chest rising and falling steadily.

“Can we do that again?!”, you ask excitedly, the man smiling wide and giving your hair a quick tousle as you hurry to brush the sand from your skin.

“We can do it as many times as you like.”

Suddenly, you feel your gaze pulled sharply to the other end of the beach, a vibrant red appearing in the muted colours of the shore. In your periphery, the man’s features slacken.

_”Sam—!”_, Amelie sounds like your mother.

You feel as though you’re at her side in a blink when her arms wedge uncomfortably around your shoulders, her hand pressing your cheek against the fabric of her stomach. You can feel her erratic breathing and you can smell her perfume. The waves of the beach suddenly have a sound and your senses withdraw into _overwhelmed_. She keeps you close, despite your struggle, and for the first time you can remember, you do not feel safe in Amelie’s arms.

You feel him tug, just enough that your hand twitches up in response. You turn your head far enough away that you can spot the man staring at you from the other end of the beach, only now half-submerged in the water. His hand raises—

Amelie doesn't let you wave back.

He disappears into the ocean where decomposition must eat him alive before the fish or water do. The mud surely solidifies in his bones, his dark navy suit, and his slightly pointed shoes.

You awake in your room. You do not remember the nightmare.


End file.
